OK, so how many personal, or business development weekends or seminars have we attended only to have absolutely nothing change in our lives, whereas others who have attended the exact same class was able to create major life changes for themselves? I’m raising my hand here. I have attended many of these things only to experience minor/if any changes in my life where others were able to create quite an improvement in their lives.
In fact one seminar I attended dealing with some aspect of real estate, was quite pricey and I had vowed to myself I would at least make my money back in this seminar. Not only did this not happen, but one of the instructors who became an instructor after only 2 years after taking the same course, eventually left the realestate business when the market dictated it, and moved into my field only to soar past me after only being in my field for 1 year.
That is a pretty humbling experience, yet one that can also be a very good visual of what it is that he was doing and I wasn’t. I would say it wasn’t skill or intelligence. I would say it was commitment. He was more committed to being successful and I was more committed to staying in my comfort zone and being arrogant enough to convince myself that it was enough to achieve the results I wanted to have.
The important thing is that in each and every moment we are committed to something. If what we are committed to isn’t creating the results we want, then it is insanity to stay committed to that. In the moment we realize that what we have committed to isn’t giving us what we want, we must find the courage within ourselves to commit to something else. In the case of that real estate class, I should have seen after 1 month, that if I hadn’t seen any results, I wasn’t truly committed to being successful. I was still committed to being comfortable.
When you want to create something new in your life, it is a necessary fact that you will step outside of your comfort zone. Those that are truly successful have become comfortable with being uncomfortable. They have developed the skills and knowledge to be able to seek that out and thrive because they have come to realize that learning something new, is no different than learning how to walk as a child, and they have embraced the mindset of a child in their new endeavor.
Imagine if as children, we had the minds of adults in regards to learning something new. There would be no one walking in the world today because it would be too scary of a thought that they could fall down. Little children stumble around, they fall, they get back up and do it again. They don’t care how many people have seen them fall, or may even be laughing at them when they do fall. In fact, most of the time, the little tykes end up laughing right along with you, and then get back up and do it again for as long as they can stand up until they fall again.
As adults, we are so afraid of stepping outside of that comfort zone because we are afraid to fail. We become so focused on failure, that that is what we create for ourselves without even stepping outside of our comfort zone. I may have certainly felt comfortable, however did I create any success with that real estate course? No I didn’t. I created what I feared most which was failure. I had put too much thought into doing what I knew was a successful process, and that made success much more difficult and didn’t allow me to truly be able to commit.
We as adults think about things too much. Commitment isn’t something we think about, it’s something we are being all of the time. We are committed this specific thing or we are not. The key is what do you need to do to change what you are used to being committed to in order to allow you to have the kind of results you want. The key is becoming fully aware of what you receive out of being committed to what you are currently committed to. Once you become aware of that, you can honestly decide if that is what you truly want in your life, or not. This is one of those things where ‘the truth will set you free’.
In my case, I had to realize that I got more out of staying in my comfort zone because I received the perception that I was safe in my comfort zone, and to me, safety was all important. I had to acknowledge that fact and not judge it that I would rather feel safe than be financially free. You would think that being financially free is infinitely more safer than not, however, what my perception of what I had to do to accomplish being financially free in my mind, was akin to almost dying. To me, failing in front of others was so unsafe because to me it meant that others would then be able to take advantage of you and would hit you when you were down and couldn’t defend yourself. It was at that point that they would be able to take everything away from you and would leave you permanently helpless and defenseless. If that fear is so strong it won’t budge you from your comfort zone, if you want change, you need to admit that you need outside guidance.
Outside guidance can assist you is seeing how your perceptions are really misperceptions into the way the world really is. For example, since my biggest fear was that others would take advantage of me when I was down, what is it that lives within me that would attract those kind of people into my life? What is it that those kind of individuals are reflecting back to me that would allow me to transcend that fear and free myself from it forever? Instead of fearing them, I could be in the gratitude for them for playing that role in my life so I could truly be free and be in the safety that is so important to me (true safety lies in freedom). The outside guidance can give me the support to be able to shift my thoughts about myself, who I truly am and what I am able to rise above and accomplish in the world. It can support me in seeing that I have more command over my experiences than I give myself credit for and to ‘be’ differently so I can ‘do’ differently.
This ranting was wholly and fully inspired by the material found on this personal transformation website veroniqueinc.com
