This article comes in light of the many incidences where a member of the Black community is harmed/assaulted/killed and then they or their survivors immediately forgive the perpetrator of the incident. Lately, these actions have begun to come under criticism by the Black community, because not only are other communities not asked to do the same, automatic forgiveness is also not particularly empowering. To the Black community, these actions illustrated a pattern that Black Americans are supposed to automatically take a “no harm no foul” attitude no matter how much harm is done to them.
There have been many explanations of the reason our community has this kind of automatic forgiving response when it experiences harm and trauma. Dr Francis Cress Welsing had a very detailed synopsis for this behavior (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-VGlNTfSgM) As we have seen, this behavior had not changed anything, or has lessened systematic white supremacy’s effect on the lives of the Black community.
The following explains why the behavior of blind forgiveness will never affect systematic white supremacy, and it actually brings more harm to the community and ultimately specific steps the Black community can take to change this behavior, and to stop and eventually reverse the cycle of harm and begin to address healing the mental health issues.
One of the aspects of blind automatic forgiveness that hasn’t truly been discussed are the holistic influences that affect everything from our thoughts, words and actions. This widespread influence comes from our subconscious and ultimately our DNA, other individuals and the environment. What we do and the actions we take can affect our energy/influences, which affects our future experiences. I am sharing this concept so you can understand how our actions keep us on the gerbil wheel of oppression that we can’t seem to break from.
So how can forgiveness be harmful instead of what we think would be the “Christian” thing to do? When we forgive others, who 1) don’t ask for our forgiveness and 2) are not held responsible for the destruction/harm they have caused, we ultimately take on their Karma that was created by their choices. The reason for this is because when you don’t hold someone else and yourself responsible or accountable UNCONDITIONALLY for what they have CHOSEN to do, you are basically saying to the universe “It’s ok, I’m going to be responsible for something that doesn’t belong to me!”, and the universe says “It wasn’t yours to begin with, so you can’t do anything with it however you can take it on since you asked… so here you go!” Karmic interactions follow specific rules and that is the only result of such an action. It’s like trying to lose weight for someone else, and experiencing the physical effects of being overweight. No matter how much weight you take off or put on, it has no physical affect on the other person and you continue to experience the physical effects of being overweight because they have done nothing to lose weight. As long as you choose to take on the responsibility for them losing weight, you are at their mercy for your weight-based physical comfort or discomfort.
In carrying someone else’s Karma, we get much of the effects of their Karma but none of the joys of finally transcending it because it was never ours to transcend, so it will never be transcended. We continue experiencing the affects of this Karma more and it becomes compounded as we continue to repeat this behavior.
What is the way to truly break this pattern? It is more than just not automatically forgiving destructive behavior no matter what. In the grand scheme of things, forgiveness has no place here because really, life is about holding the each person UNCONDITIONALLLY accountable and responsible for their own choices, and determining what that experience was for you. As this becomes part of your natural response, it will automatically release the Karma that has been taken on from those that have caused harm and will return that Karma that belongs to them back to them. This will tremendously lighten your load, and will allow those who caused the harm to begin with, to fully experience and be responsible for the damage it has created because as long as you continue to take on other’s Karma, they will not be able to transcend their own destructive choices. It will also allow you to transcend what you need to transcend yourself to be more empowered and more self loving because you are much more clear with what truly belongs to you.
In order for permanent change to happen, all future encounters dealing with racial undertones have to be unconditional on your part. Unconditional means without judgment. It means truly allowing yourself to see the situation as it is without attaching blame, shame or guilt onto you or the other party. Think of a child who makes a mess and you have them clean up their own mess. You don’t hate the child, or make them feel guilty, or shame them into submission because they made the mess. You just have them clean up the mess they made and when it’s been cleaned up, it’s done. The important point is you don’t allow them to not be responsible with their mess either and say “it’s alright, I’ll clean it up for you.” This is how the Black community must handle those that cause harm to the community, because holding onto the judgment will cause us to take on the Karma the belongs to them. We hold them and the system accountable for the harm they caused and hold them accountable for making amends to make whole what they damaged…. no exceptions. It requires being the adult and letting go of the “white mommy or daddy will take care of me” mindset. When you approach the system in an unconditional, cool, calm and collected manner, a number of things begin to happen:
- The Black community will get inspired as to what will be the best actions to take to have what they want,
- The other person is completely taken off guard because they now understand that they will have to be wholly responsible for what their actions created,
- The Black community will accelerate in its path towards true healing and learning to love, honor and respect each other again at its core, something that hasn’t happened for over 500 years.
It’s time to truly become aware of all aspects of how the community has been harmed, not just physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually, but also energetically… especially energetically. The good news is when they become aware and can protect themselves from a core level, they can begin to heal their foundation. The good news is that with everything that they have experienced, and what they are still able to accomplish with running on only 1 heavily sputtering engine, imagine what the community will be like when they are running on all 4 highly tuned engines! It will take a strong commitment and a willingness to become a master of their own personal destiny, however it can still be done, and permanently done within this lifetime.
